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25 Responses to “Autisms Dirty Little Secret #4”
  1. hope4cole says:

    As a mother of a newly diagnosed 4 year-old son with an ASD, I can certainly relate. My heart sinks, when someone unfamiliar with my son addresses him with a question. Each time it happens, I wait with anticipation, hoping that he will acknowlege with a glance or even jargon. It’s very difficult to embrace.

    Thank you so much for this video, as well as all of your others. You’ve truly been an inspiration :)

  2. hope4cole says:

    As a mother of a newly diagnosed 4 year-old son with an ASD, I can certainly relate. My heart sinks, when someone unfamiliar with my son addresses him with a question. Each time it happens, I wait with anticipation, hoping that he will acknowlege with a glance or even jargon. It’s very difficult to embrace.

    Thank you so much for this video, as well as all of your others. You’ve truly been an inspiration :)

  3. Psalmgraphics says:

    I am a Social worker with 20 years experience working with people with autistism. I have heard similar stories from parents over and over. I have even had a family while in public had the police called on them. The first thing I do is order a Medic Alert braclet that informs the public that the child has a disability. The braclets are cute and don’t look out of the ordinary, but are identifiable if needed.

  4. ascend2luv says:

    All parents are judged like this, its not unique to parents of autistic children. I have gotten to a stage where “quite frankly my dear, I dont give a damn”. Society has become intolerant towards children in general. There’s always someone who likes to tut and raise their eyebrows. The beauty of autism is my son doesnt care what anyone else thinks, society hasnt been able to programme him with an ego – as long as he is happy so am I. Dont let others stop you enjoying your kids. Great Vid

  5. phieq says:

    So true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I often feel exactly what you describe but feel that others don’t get it…well I guess you have to have been there to understand.
    I love all the videos in this series. You always hit the nail on the head and you are not affraid of speaking your mind. Very valuable! I’m sending this vid to all my friends!

  6. jaymers25 says:

    THANK you thank you! This is never discussed! I always thought I was a “bad” parent, and I was afraid to talk to people about it by fear of me looking even worse by my underlying guilt and embarrassment. Other than those feelings here and there, I have nothing but love for my son! so I know this isnt odd to feel like this sometimes

  7. hoss12686 says:

    My child was just diagnosed, and she is 2 1/2. I know exactly what you are talking about. I was referred to your videos from Autism Society of America. I can honestly say, I really enjoyed your video, and feel like I can relate. Finally there is someone else who feels the way my husband and I feel. Please keep posting videos.

  8. PhilCommander2 says:

    Very well said inspirebelief2009.

  9. inspirebelief2009 says:

    As a parent of an autistic kid you go though this process of death/letting go of your old world to a new world filled with beauty, compassion, honesty a rare gift you begin a new awareness of what’s really real, a journey of self discovery. We begin to meet compassionate, honest loving people and just like this video we are able to start being real.
    As an parent of an Autistic child it’s really not about our child, it is about our emotions and discovery of diversty.

  10. jabberwocky88 says:

    Thanks for doing this Phil. Our son is 5 and has yet to be diagnosed. We suspect he could be high functioning autistic. It’s great to get such honest advice from someone who has already experienced so much first hand. And yes, I have felt embarressment and shame and felt so guilty about it.

  11. angel0164 says:

    Autistic children are beautiful and more people need to learn this fact!!!

  12. BumsenDK says:

    Hey Phil.

    On being embarrassed(spelling?)

    id like to point out that I too can become embarassed, shameful that other people see me as weird, noticing other people distancing themselves from me, hiding the “A”-word.

    Also among higher functioning people there is this one: shame of being compared to “real” autistics. Ie “I only have aspergers, it not like i have REAL autism“. Thats sooo ugly, but even I have felt it. Its absolutely a shared feeling.

  13. Einalem1981 says:

    You learn to develop an incredibly thick skin, you have to for your own sanity really. As far as family reactions go, I’ve found this to be the biggest problem so far. People who know us too well are sometimes unable to step back and see what’ really going on. They stop learning because they assume there is nothing more to learn. It doesn’t make any sense to me becuase although history cannot change, people can and SHOULD. Families sometimes see each other as belongings rather than individuals

  14. ifinallygetit says:

    Hey phil,

    Another point is how the medical community feeds into our feelings of shame by pushing so hard to “fix” our children. They get us so pumped that we spend astronomical amounts of money to the point of losing everything we have because we have this fear in us that our child is not “normal” and their future will be ruined along with ours if we dont become fanatics about “curing” them ASAP.

  15. whitequeen96 says:

    Brilliant, once again!
    Boy, this is just what I need to hear right now. My son just turned 12, and I’m going thru some of these feelings, especially dreading taking him out on social outings. He doesn’t want to go (ever!), it’s exhausting to me, and it can be excruciating as well. But I know he needs the experience, so I persist as much as I can.

    I’ve been away for a while, so I see I have a lot of catching up to do. Thanks for your very insightful videos; they are a BIG HELP!

  16. CreddyEddy says:

    Phil, from just having listening to you just now, you are in EXACTLY the right position to understand what is happening at “our” end.

  17. ABAisSCIENCE says:

    Guess what?
    There is something wrong with everyone.
    Find someone without mutation in their gene chain.
    Find someone with a pure good heart.
    Oh, right the autistic child or any child.
    Maybe they exist for a reason.
    Sin is obvious; you aren’t a kid anymore.
    There is now understanding and judgement.
    Don’t be embarrassed grab hold of mercy and condition others to think like that as the world is better with mercy.

  18. ABAisSCIENCE says:

    Anyone wants best for child & 1 who does things that is inappropriate behavior causes 1to be embarassed, but not embarassed towards the child, but rather the situation.
    Uncomfortable, yes; embarassed about child, no.
    Wanting best for their child, of course.

    See this is the way we worry about the behavioral theory, but guess what all people are conditioned to behave & you should want to condition speech. How else is your child going to represent themselves on Earth?

    Or keep them mute.

  19. PhilCommander2 says:

    yes, please watch my next video!!! it will be up in a few days…in the meantime go to my other youtube channel THECOMMANDERS and watch the video entitled “Answer to mommyto2miracles”

  20. PhilCommander2 says:

    actually my vid was going to talk about these things sushynemom. I was going to mention the fact that we know that our childrens behavior reflects on us as parents whether they are autistic or nt.
    Thanks for your comment!!!

  21. PhilCommander2 says:

    Thanks! i appreciate the support…i really do.

  22. PhilCommander2 says:

    it can be hard cant it danny2ndchance…i know the feelings youre talking about all too well.
    my next videos though will concentrate on how to help our kids in a correct manner.
    Doing this video struck a nerve with me too.

  23. PhilCommander2 says:

    well said Jpalke. so many of us know exactly what you are talking about. i sure do.

  24. PhilCommander2 says:

    no wiscuzski, your comment is appreciated and does make some valid points. You werent just offhandedly disagreeing with me and i am glad that you do point out that what i say in the video is true, not all parents feel this way.
    I have honestly spoken to some parents who didnt have to even say it but i knew that from day one they never felt either emotion i speak of in this video…thanks for your comment!

  25. PhilCommander2 says:

    These are some great points you make desertress!

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